As a woman working in the beauty industry, I spend most of my days surrounded by women. And naturally, when you sit in my chair, the conversation flows, romance, fashion, work, family, everything! These conversations are some of the most beautiful parts of my job. But over time, I realised something: while I was listening, I was also absorbing.
The Bible puts it like this:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23
Guarding your heart means being intentional about what enters through your ear gates and eye gates. Because once it enters, it doesn’t just stay on the surface—it settles, it grows, and it can even shape how we see our own lives.
Psychologists call this emotional contagion—the way we can “catch” other people’s emotions simply by listening to them. And I’ve noticed how easy it is for this to happen in the studio.
For example:
• A client going through heartbreak might say, “Forget these men, none of them are worth it.” And suddenly, you start questioning your own relationship even though it’s healthy.
• Someone who’s been made redundant might say, “You can’t trust workplaces, they’ll let you go at any moment.” Now you’re worried about your job when nothing has changed.
• Or someone with family struggles might say, “You can’t even trust family anymore.”Meanwhile, your mum and sisters would do anything for you…
It’s subtle, but it’s powerful. And it doesn’t just happen with conversations—it can even happen with music. Recently, I was listening to Cardi B’s new album (and let me tell you, it’s a banger). If I had that album back when I was heartbroken, I would’ve had it on repeat. But the truth is, right now my heart isn’t broken—I’m in a really good place. Still, I found myself getting angry with Cardi (lol) about things she was angry about, things that weren’t even my reality. Unconscious moments like that highlight just how easy it is for external voices to stir emotions that don’t actually belong to us.
Here’s what I’m learning about guarding my gates:
1. Be mindful of your intake – Ask: Is what I’m hearing or watching strengthening me or stirring emotions I don’t need?
2. Listen without absorbing – It’s okay to empathize, but remember: their story doesn’t have to become yours.
3. Pray and release – Cover your heart before and after conversations. Let God filter what’s useful and remove what’s harmful.
Guarding your gates doesn’t mean shutting people out. It means showing up for others with wisdom—protecting your peace so that you can serve from a place of strength, not weariness.
Your eyes, your ears, your heart—they’re your gates, and what you allow in will shape what flows out. Guard them well so your peace stays intact and your joy stays full.
And because protecting your spirit also means filling it with good things, I’ve shared some of my current Hot Picks below—music, books, fashion, and spaces that inspire without weighing you down. I hope they bless you as much as they’ve blessed me.
With love,
Donita Boateng
Hot Picks This Week:
Album of the Week - Cardi B – “Am I the Drama?” Full of energy, real emotion, and powerful lyrics.
Book of the Week - New book by Femi Otedola. (Making it big ) - Heard amazing reviews. Should be arriving — can’t wait to share thoughts.
Restaurant of the Week - 14 Hills, London - Seriously the view, the vibe, the menu all hit. Dimly lit enough for date night, but still glam for a girls’ catch up.
Series to Watch (Prime Video) The Girlfriend - Psychological thriller, good tension, strong characters. Very bingeable!
