Breaking the Silence: You Don't Have To Feel Ashamed
You’d be surprised by how many people walk into my studio and say, “Don’t tell anyone.”
Success doesn’t follow a set timeline, and sometimes the path to finding your true purpose takes longer than expected. At 30, I stepped away from the corporate world and leapt into entrepreneurship. I’ve been running my aesthetic business for six years now and I’m finally ready to share my life and business lessons.
Okay, let’s get real for a second.
We live in a world where beauty standards have never been more open and, at the same time, more quietly judged.
One thing I’ve noticed as a London-based aesthetician is that women, especially women of colour, have a complicated relationship with cosmetic treatments.
Sure, many people do it. But here’s the catch: no one really talks about it. And if you do, a cloud of shame or guilt is often attached. Why? Because society loves a good judgment game. And that’s exactly what so many of my clients are worried about, being judged…
Let me break it down.
I work with incredible women, many of whom come in for subtle enhancements like fillers, Botox, or a little tweak here or there.
You’d be surprised by how many people walk into my studio and say, “Don’t tell anyone.”
And it’s not because they’re embarrassed about the procedure itself. It’s the fear of being scrutinised by others: partners, friends, even strangers on the internet. They want to feel better about how they look, to boost their confidence, but they walk out with this unspoken weight, like now that they’ve made a change, they have something to hide.
I get it, and I don’t blame them.
Let me get into my chimamada bag.
As women, we’ve been conditioned to feel like we have to justify every choice we make with our bodies, whether it’s losing weight, wearing makeup, or getting a little work done. Especially in the Black community, where certain beauty standards carry even heavier cultural baggage, it can feel like a taboo to admit you’ve had anything done.
And that sense of isolation can be intense, especially when we’ve all been guilty of passing judgment on ourselves and others at some point. So, it makes sense why they might feel conflicted.
But here’s the thing: when we change our look, we’re not the only ones. Those celebrities we admire? They’re getting stuff done too. That influencer whose “flawless” skin makes us want to add a few extra filters? She’s got a great skincare routine and probably a few appointments under her belt. The truth is, a lot of people are making changes to feel their best; they just aren’t broadcasting it. And yet, we’re sitting here thinking we’re the only ones.
We’re not.
What I really want my clients to know, and what I want you to know, is that it’s okay to make decisions about your appearance for you. Not for the approval of a partner, a social media following, or society’s unattainable standards of perfection. It’s about what makes you feel good when you look in the mirror.
And yeah, sometimes that means saying, “Okay, let’s pause.” There are times when I’ve had to tell someone, especially a younger client, that we should hold off on further treatments. Not because I don’t want to give them what they want, but because I know that chasing an impossible idea of “perfection” is never the answer. A tweak here, a filler there, it’s all about enhancing what you already love about yourself, not hiding or erasing parts of who you are.
Now, I’m not saying everyone should rush out to get fillers, or even that those who do should shout it from the rooftops. But I am saying that if you choose to make an enhancement, don’t feel like you’re in it alone. More women than you think are doing it, quietly, confidently, and for themselves.
The real beauty secret? Confidence. Do what makes you feel amazing. And once you feel good in your own skin, no one’s opinion, good or bad, can change that.
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